It's not a Love Story: Chapter 6: Dream v/s reality


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Sometimes it’s really hard to make a distinction between dream and reality especially when you just have lost your senses.
Last time when I closed my eyes everything went dark, and as I opened my eyes I saw a bright light, which was hurting my eyes. I always heard that when one dies, the soul travels to the other world where according to one’s characteristics in life the decision of heaven and hell is made and its path goes through a dark tunnel, which is full of obstacles, and after walking endlessly for so many hours one sees a bright white light which is told to be gate of the other world.
What! I am dead! Damn! My love story just started and I am dead! Great! But why I am unable to budge even for an inch!
Dr. patient is coming back to his senses” I heard a familiar male voice.
See I told you, it wasn’t a big deal at all. It usually happens when patient is in trauma of accident. However we need to take care of regular monitoring, as he has lost a lot of blood and anything which can raise his heartbeat can be fatal”  a non familiar voice assured me I am still alive. Phew!
What happened to me?  Did you call my home? Is anything serious? “I tried joining in conversation. 
You are absolutely fine Anjit, it was due to little weakness and your heartbeats were abnormally increased hence you fainted. It’s Okay, completely normal” Dr. Bhatanagar revealed his face by removing his mask.
Ohh okay, where is Dr. Riddhi?” I asked.
She is on Round now. She was there with your friend for some 2-3 hours as she went in shock after seeing this emergency situation so Dr. Riddhima counseled her because  such sudden situations can stay in her mind for long and can affect her.” He assured me.
Ohh great” wow! She was with Dr. Riddhi, which means I can get a clear idea of what’s in her mind.
Dr.Shashank, please prepare these documents, we are up for a surgery in 20 minutes” the non familiar doctor said.
Yes sure sir”
 “Now take some rest we’ll be shifting you to your ward soon, and I want to thank you for something which we’ll discuss it later” and he left.
Again ‘Something’ however I knew what this something could be so no worries.
To ICU, room no. 143” ward boy instructed the other ward boy.
***

How are you feeling now?” Dr. Riddhima asked.
Much better” I replied while I looked at door if Naina is coming too.
Good”
I told her to leave as she was already late to be at her dad’s office. An urgent meeting has been commenced and since she is in management of the showroom hence her presence was must. She insisted to stay but I told her that I will take care of you can she can come tomorrow” Dr. Riddhima replied with faking an everything-is-fine smile.
What happened Riddhi?” I asked straight without starting a dumb conversation.
Nothing, I was just scared to see you in such situation. When you collapsed I thought I am going to lose you. I know I am a Doctor but sometimes it’s really hard to see your loving ones in pain” and her tears rolled down.
“It’s okay Riddhi, after all we are human, made up of emotions. It happens” and I tried consoling her.
Hmm” and she shifted her gaze on window.
Riddhi…You know what…you are really bad actor. I’ve never seen such a bad piece of acting from a long. You can’t hide things at least from me. Now without making any stories can you honestly tell me what is bothering you that you need to fake smile, that too in front of me?”  I asked with a slight quiver in my voice.
When you know someone very well; you can easily figure out when they are hiding something which has a lot to do with you.
No no, I am not hiding anything. I am feeling bad just because I forgot the fact that I am a doctor here and you are a patient. I just missed that your drip was about to empty and needs to be changed” and she wiped her tears.
 “But hey guess what! Now I am assigned as your fulltime doctor Mr. High Profile patient ;)” and she smiled.
You can’t see a girl in tears for much long. When she smiles, everything seems happy and when she is sad, everything feels so blue.
“Wow! That’s great! But how’ll you manage to stay here all the time?” I asked while I felt a relief that topic is shifted.
Full time doesn’t mean 24 hours. I’ll be here from 9 am to 10 pm and after that Shashank will take the charge” she was looking happy while saying it but she avoided eye contact.
You talked to Naina?” I asked what I wanted her to tell me but she was either forgetting or avoiding it.
Ohh yes, I did.”
“She was about to leave when she heard the emergency call and seeing you in such situation affected her and she was almost numb when I was asked to counsel her. She is fine now.” She replied.
“That’s all?”  I asked with an irked expression.
What else?” she asked in reply.
Nothing, I thought…umm Nothing, okay” and I looked out from the window where bright and clear moon was moving up slowly. I kept looking at it emptily.
What’s so special in tonight’s moon that you aren’t taking your eyes off from it” Dr. Riddhima’s voice broke my thoughts.
Don’t you think we are quite same?” I said while still looking at moon.
“Talking about You and me? Yes we are” she said.
No, not about us. I am talking about me and the moon. Aren’t we the same?” I said while looking in the eyes of Dr. Riddhima.
“Yes both of you have dark spots” and she giggled while I kept staring at her blankly.
Why you are thinking so?” she asked as soon as she noticed my blank eyes.
Leave it, I am just…. When the dinner will be served?”  I tried shifting the topic.
Hey I am sorry baba. I just thought of making you feel easy. You look really dumb when you talk serious…Now tell me why you are thinking so much?” she asked holding my hand while checking the drip speed, heartbeat and other reading on monitor.
I never felt as lonely as I am feeling now, ever in my life”
“You know what makes us same? Both are loved by many, surrounded by many but still meant to walk alone. It’s not that I hate my life or something like that, I know many people genuinely care for me like I do for everyone but I want someone who will care only for me, whom I can say yes I love you and who will say yes I love you tooI don’t know if I had tears or not but I was feeling really heavy from the heart, an emptiness was there.
Hey it’s okay, why you are feeling so?? See I love you, everyone loves you, everyone cares for you, and now you have ‘someone’ too, who loves you in the same way you love her” and she held my hand even tighter.
She doesn’t love me at all, I know” I said.
Who said that? I talked to her and she...…”
“Enough of lies Riddhi...I know she doesn’t have the same feelings as mine. Everything she did is only out of guilt and sympathy. It’s only me who thought….that love at first sight happens for real” and my eyes started becoming wet.
A dead silence was between us while I was still looking at the moon which was about to hide behind a dark cloud and Dr. Riddhima was still in shock and perplex that what to respond and how to respond.
You can leave, its 9:30. Don’t worry about me, I am all okay” I tried taking control on the situation however I was feeling lost like a broken leaf from a tree, but sometimes we need to appear stronger than we actually are.
And please change that drip, it’s almost empty” and she did it without saying a word.
How do you know?” her voice was enough to tell me she is going to cry soon.
I just know” I replied. However I had no clue that how I know it. Whatever I said was an attempt to know what she said about me when Dr. Riddhima talked to her. Since she wasn’t telling me so I thought of trying a reverse approach to know it because there was no possibility that if Dr. Riddhima is with her and she won’t try to take cues from her. But I never imagined that it could be true…

An urge to be in love made me awfully imaginative and it overcame the practical side of life. I forgot the fact that imagination and practicality lay on different horizons...”
“And how can ‘I’ be in a relationship, I- ‘the impractically practical man’ and how can I disappoint the girls who have downloaded my photos on their PC and Cellphone. Someone has to take care for them too Jand I laughed out loud, real loud that even my tears started rolling. However Dr. Riddhima knew what is real in laughter and tears.
Ansh, I know you are strong, you are the Superman right.” she said while wiping my tears.
“Someone who is only for you is still waiting for you and you know that. God bless you” and she kissed my forehead, giving me warmth of a true care that she had for me.
Good Night Riddhi” I smiled though she knew it’s fake.
I will be here at 9, may be before. Shashank will come on round infrequent intervals, you can talk to him if you want to. Take care, Good Night” and she left with a heavy heart.
And I looked out to see the moon, which was still looking the same.
I thought she might be watching it too and thought of her brought a smile but caused a lot of pain too.
Sometimes it’s really tough to make your heart understand that reality lies far from the mind's eye which only shows what can fool you easily. It’s hard to understand that   reality bites you badly.
Even after knowing that she doesn’t love me at all I was still thinking of her. Why I was missing her.
I never told that what I feel for her then why I was feeling as if we were together from perpetuity.
It’s really strange that when you love someone, how the world becomes a beautiful place and when you miss that someone, how the same world turns into a desolated place.
I wish it’s a dream that will disperse as soon as I will wake up.
But sadly it’s reality.
***
Stop Crying, you look ugly when you cry :P I sms’ed Dr. Riddhima 5 minutes after she left and got a J in reply.
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Comments

  1. Both are loved by many, surrounded by many but still meant to walk alone. It’s not that I hate my life or something like that, I know many people genuinely care for me like I do for everyone but I want someone who will care only for me, whom I can say yes I love you and who will say yes I love you too”



    Hey u knw wht....dis is an awwwwssummmmm line....every teenager feels lyk dat....so do i...

    6th chap ws a bit late...hoping dat dis would nt happen wid chap 7...

    Dis ws a bit sad part....bt gud

    ReplyDelete
  2. It’s not that I hate
    my life or something like that, I
    know many people genuinely care
    for me like I do for everyone but I want someone who will care only
    for me, whom I can say yes I love
    you and who will say yes I love
    you too”


    Dats realy strange...2day wen i ws watching a movie...i felt d same...kind of same lines were in my mind 2....dere must b sm1...

    U got ur sm1.....is dat naina....aur sumbdy else

    ReplyDelete
  3. i told you i write common things :)
    and chapter 6 was late due to some consequent things but chapter 7 will come on time.
    :)


    which movie you were watching?
    and regarding your last question
    i guess i replied it earlier that i believe in theory , practical is tough ;)

    ReplyDelete

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